So I'm just eagerly waiting for book-out. It's just in a couple of hours and I can barely wait. Just so tired from stuff here and I need a break for my mind.

Physiotherapy was okay I guess. Nothing much to mention about except that not much can be done actually. Main issue is that I mustn't strain or over-exert my back. Not too much anyway, at least. I'm still gonna try hitting the gym if possible, but perhaps not as much as before. And maybe I'll be coming up with a plan for circuit training in the gym here. Another month to go and HG says that can actually be enough time to produce some results. I hope so..

I still find it stupid. Here we've been talking so much about things and yet something like that can be taken for granted and I guess that just proves to me how little I meant to you in the first place. Maybe I'm just feeling like I'm in a rut.

Had Francis and Jonny come down to EMR to conduct PC interview two days ago. Now they know but they think that I'm handling it fine, that I'm motivated. But the truth is that I'm nowhere near that motivated to do anything much anymore. I'm only trying to live my life for what I can now, which is kind of like a day-to-day basis perhaps. Maybe one day I'll get back to being who they think I am, what they thought I've been so far in their eyes. I'm quite appreciative of their words and encouragements though. At least I know that the higher-ups are indeed trying a little at least to take care of the men under them. But soon enough, Jonny's leaving and yeah, his understudy's coming in a few weeks to start learning the ropes. Hopefully he will be a good fit here too, rather than be an asshole to the men.

I think that perhaps I think too much into problems and scenarios. Perhaps I'm just wrong about every damn thing I've ever said or done. I wish that were so..