Just how long before this goes down?
Bits & Pieces
Friday, September 19, 2008
Trackspin: Michael Learns To Rock - The Actor.
I'm not an actor, I'm not a star,
And I don't even have my own car..
But I'm hoping so much, you'd stay,
That you would love me anyway..
Lyrics to a really old song that I just so happened to be playing. Such an emo-ing song perhaps, somewhat fitting with how the world around me feels like lately. Don't know, it just seems like I'm not the one who seems to be down in the dumps already but others who are feeling worse off than I am. Or rather, worse off than how I was feeling. Perhaps I've managed to quell my feelings and suppress them already, forcing myself to act like nothing's the matter maybe. Yeah, I prefer being true to myself and others, but it's not going to benefit anybody else if I do that, it'd just be counter-productive for somebody out there. So yeah, guess I'll just have to be content with lying to myself that everything is okay.
There will always be ingrates around I suppose. I told HG that I'm tired of being that counsellor/mentor/listening ear but still, I do it because I get a sense of accomplishment/faith in my friends and the world as a result of just sitting down and listening to others. I somehow find it rewarding, just listening to others, talking to them, comforting them. But I cannot get too deeply involved or rooted such that I wind up causing a hindrance or disturbance. I'm only here when you all need me, that's it. I guess that's how things have been and things won't really ever change.
I guess I've lost my place among some friends. Most of all, you. Thanks for everything ever said and done. Perhaps it's time I took my leave and never look back. The lyrics to Tonight seem to ring out so clearly to me with regards to this.
I'm currently contemplating the GS Voyager or RSA Tomahawk. Also, either Livewires or UM2 + UM56. i'm a little put off the Voyager because of it's size, and a little put off by the LIvewires for their waiting time. Don't know for now though. Feel like buying back my first bass also. Another thing is that I've to get the preamp for Nez soon, as well as copper foil, to shield her completely. The magnetic fields are wrecking havoc. Also, the preamp will take care of any lose jacks or pots. Then after that, it's time to get pickups and new pots+caps for Nimis. She definitely could use a good set of pickups and maybe a preamp too. See how things go..
Went out with Tricia to go look around at bass stuff and all today. Was pretty productive and had fun just talking and all. Seems like St Peter's and Paul is as cosy as ever and it's nice to see the place has retained its Victorian-era looks and the atmosphere still seems so homely. Maybe I should attend mass there once in awhile. I vaguely remember attending mass there before, but I can't, for the life of me, remember with whom.
I'm seriously tempted by the UM2s and a new amp. Somebody please buy my GoVibe from me? Haha.
Anyway, in all seriousness, I'm worried about how I'm going to support myself once I start schooling again, if I even manage to go ahead with my plans after ORD. I'm also thinking of moving out temporarily. I don't know why, maybe to get the feel of living alone or with friends instead. Still remember Terence, Riza and I thinking of shifting out together after NS for about a year or so. But that was when all of us had significant others. Right now, I think I'd just suffer from sleepless nights in bed with them around in the same household, haha.
Thinking of working at Home again or some other place to support myself and maybe work more days so I can pay off my studying and also to upkeep getting a bike and my monthly expenses. Sounds like a lot now. Wonder how I'll cope. Sorely depressed by thinking about all these though.
I went back to singing during ED practice today. It's definitely been awhile. The last time I truly sang was for BFC. And it was because of a song I wanted to dedicate to you. Wow huh, how time passes us by. Two years passing soon and look where we are now. Nowhere near where we said we thought we'd be. So much for my/our dreams maybe. Doesn't make a difference to you anymore I guess. Oh well, I digress. As I was saying, yeah, went back to singing today. Felt so weird because I felt like we just needed a male vocalist to step up somehow but we still can't find anybody to join as that. And I think it's something we're sorely lacking as a band now.
I think I'm going to spend the next 2 weeks of deployment going to the gym when I'm in camp. Try to work out more still. Then the last 2 weeks, I'll rest more than work out so I can prepare for IPPT during clear-off period perhaps. Not sure if I can take it then. I'm not very satisfied with everything now. Time to work out the legs too and get my hops back.
This is a really long post, I know. And finally, it's one of some reasonable content, rather than my usual random babbles all the way. But for now, I think it's time for me to sleep. There's basketball tomorrow night, as well as Saturday morning. I honestly can't wait to just get back to playing. I need to get my shooting back as well as my hops. I just feel so retarded now. I also miss badminton. Time to organise soon. Reminds me of the times we played at TP Central CC just beside church and also at TP West CC, and we had so much fun playing. I miss the competitiveness of it all, with Darren and I smashing away. I really miss smashing shuttles at people. Maybe I just need some form of anger management/release. As usual perhaps.
Alright, my post is becoming incoherent. Time for me to head to bed to catch my forty winks. G'night to the world, y'all.
got around to thinking @ 1:14 AM
I'm not an actor, I'm not a star,
And I don't even have my own car..
But I'm hoping so much, you'd stay,
That you would love me anyway..
Lyrics to a really old song that I just so happened to be playing. Such an emo-ing song perhaps, somewhat fitting with how the world around me feels like lately. Don't know, it just seems like I'm not the one who seems to be down in the dumps already but others who are feeling worse off than I am. Or rather, worse off than how I was feeling. Perhaps I've managed to quell my feelings and suppress them already, forcing myself to act like nothing's the matter maybe. Yeah, I prefer being true to myself and others, but it's not going to benefit anybody else if I do that, it'd just be counter-productive for somebody out there. So yeah, guess I'll just have to be content with lying to myself that everything is okay.
There will always be ingrates around I suppose. I told HG that I'm tired of being that counsellor/mentor/listening ear but still, I do it because I get a sense of accomplishment/faith in my friends and the world as a result of just sitting down and listening to others. I somehow find it rewarding, just listening to others, talking to them, comforting them. But I cannot get too deeply involved or rooted such that I wind up causing a hindrance or disturbance. I'm only here when you all need me, that's it. I guess that's how things have been and things won't really ever change.
I guess I've lost my place among some friends. Most of all, you. Thanks for everything ever said and done. Perhaps it's time I took my leave and never look back. The lyrics to Tonight seem to ring out so clearly to me with regards to this.
I'm currently contemplating the GS Voyager or RSA Tomahawk. Also, either Livewires or UM2 + UM56. i'm a little put off the Voyager because of it's size, and a little put off by the LIvewires for their waiting time. Don't know for now though. Feel like buying back my first bass also. Another thing is that I've to get the preamp for Nez soon, as well as copper foil, to shield her completely. The magnetic fields are wrecking havoc. Also, the preamp will take care of any lose jacks or pots. Then after that, it's time to get pickups and new pots+caps for Nimis. She definitely could use a good set of pickups and maybe a preamp too. See how things go..
Went out with Tricia to go look around at bass stuff and all today. Was pretty productive and had fun just talking and all. Seems like St Peter's and Paul is as cosy as ever and it's nice to see the place has retained its Victorian-era looks and the atmosphere still seems so homely. Maybe I should attend mass there once in awhile. I vaguely remember attending mass there before, but I can't, for the life of me, remember with whom.
I'm seriously tempted by the UM2s and a new amp. Somebody please buy my GoVibe from me? Haha.
Anyway, in all seriousness, I'm worried about how I'm going to support myself once I start schooling again, if I even manage to go ahead with my plans after ORD. I'm also thinking of moving out temporarily. I don't know why, maybe to get the feel of living alone or with friends instead. Still remember Terence, Riza and I thinking of shifting out together after NS for about a year or so. But that was when all of us had significant others. Right now, I think I'd just suffer from sleepless nights in bed with them around in the same household, haha.
Thinking of working at Home again or some other place to support myself and maybe work more days so I can pay off my studying and also to upkeep getting a bike and my monthly expenses. Sounds like a lot now. Wonder how I'll cope. Sorely depressed by thinking about all these though.
I went back to singing during ED practice today. It's definitely been awhile. The last time I truly sang was for BFC. And it was because of a song I wanted to dedicate to you. Wow huh, how time passes us by. Two years passing soon and look where we are now. Nowhere near where we said we thought we'd be. So much for my/our dreams maybe. Doesn't make a difference to you anymore I guess. Oh well, I digress. As I was saying, yeah, went back to singing today. Felt so weird because I felt like we just needed a male vocalist to step up somehow but we still can't find anybody to join as that. And I think it's something we're sorely lacking as a band now.
I think I'm going to spend the next 2 weeks of deployment going to the gym when I'm in camp. Try to work out more still. Then the last 2 weeks, I'll rest more than work out so I can prepare for IPPT during clear-off period perhaps. Not sure if I can take it then. I'm not very satisfied with everything now. Time to work out the legs too and get my hops back.
This is a really long post, I know. And finally, it's one of some reasonable content, rather than my usual random babbles all the way. But for now, I think it's time for me to sleep. There's basketball tomorrow night, as well as Saturday morning. I honestly can't wait to just get back to playing. I need to get my shooting back as well as my hops. I just feel so retarded now. I also miss badminton. Time to organise soon. Reminds me of the times we played at TP Central CC just beside church and also at TP West CC, and we had so much fun playing. I miss the competitiveness of it all, with Darren and I smashing away. I really miss smashing shuttles at people. Maybe I just need some form of anger management/release. As usual perhaps.
Alright, my post is becoming incoherent. Time for me to head to bed to catch my forty winks. G'night to the world, y'all.
got around to thinking @ 1:14 AM
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