Just how long before this goes down?
Bits & Pieces
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Trackspin: Alter Bridge - Metalingus.
Been a little hooked on this track. I know, it's Edge's theme song for WWE but that's not the point. I think Mark Tremonti is a really good music writer. Think I'm just a little hooked on Alter Bridge and Creed. Haha. Incubus too, of course.
I feel a little depressed now, seeing as to how I'm supposed to be in camp in two hours' time. Duty over Christmas sucks balls, then add on the fact that NYE is spent on duty too. I shall try lying to myself that Christmas and NYE are not on those particular days. Darn it, haha. Maybe something good will come out of it after everything. But I'm still quite skeptical, haha.
Ball yesterday was a good workout and fun, but it kind of lacked the challenge coz Big Ben wasn't around to play inside with me. So I played outside instead and I realized that I'm seriously having problems with shooting the ball consistently now. I should get back into the habit of consistency and not be complacent I suppose.
Ikea after ball was really good! Think I was on a sugar high or something, as Tricia said. Ate a lot at the cafe and shopped around the place with Tricia and Val. Headed down to church for caroling after that but I guess it further proves that I should perhaps take a period of time away from them. It serves me no purpose going down without the feeling of Christmas and putting on a fake mask of joy and smiles I guess. But then again, there are the few people who can make me smile and talk, just that sometimes, I still don't feel like talking too much.
Yesterday, Tricia said something. "Ironically, church is where you experience the worst politics." Somewhere along those lines. I replied something which I think I truly believe in. "It's because there's an expectation to be nice and friendly such that even if you dislike someone, you try to act nice and all to that person because it's somehow expected?" I don't know, it's a little hypocritical but I guess that's just human nature. I just feel a little too tired to think about stuff like that happening in church but I guess everybody's guilty of it, to some extent. Human nature. The ugly side of us that we try to disguise and lie to ourselves about perhaps. Ah well, no more psychological issues and psychobabble here.
Thanks for the talk on the bus Eugene. Appreciated it a lot and I hope you enjoy the festive season bro.
I have to say, I'm drifting away from church. Duty and all doesn't give me the flexibility and choice of attending weekday masses alone anymore and I guess that's one of the worst things because that was when I could really just spend some quiet time and reflect. It isn't easy anymore. Not with everything that has happened ever since enlisting last year. Time has passed so quickly, such that I'll be out in less than a year. I honestly cannot wait for that break and holiday with Matty, Darren, Addison and maybe one or two others. I am seriously in need of a break right now but it's just not possible. I can't even enjoy the holidays with my family, much less my close friends. I can only wait for this Saturday when we'll all be gathered for an overnight time. In short, I'm just really drained and tired out from a whole myriad of things. There's so much I want to do but I'm unable to. So much I've been unable to do over the past year and a half. I've fallen short on my goals, on what I should have done, should have been. Talking to Sherwin on Saturday over lunch reminded me that at least I still have my next three years of plans to accomplish to my ideals.
Another topic across yesterday's lunch was sleep. Val said something about the lack of sleep bringing about depression and mood swings. I guess perhaps that nails it. And also, lack of sleep affects us more than we'd know and expect it to. But it's hard to accomplish that goal with how Singapore's society is. Amidst the hustle and bustle, who has the time to waste on sleeping? Maybe I should change my thoughts on that. I'll try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each day from here on, whenever possible. Perhaps it'll lead me to be happier and get rid of the mood swings. I hope it does.
Sometimes, when you hit the lowest you've gone in a long time, you start to wonder, how could it possibly get any worse? I guess the point would be to remain optimistic, as hard as that might be. I really hate that I can tell people all these and get them to try to be happier than they are but I can't do the same to myself. Is it really such a problem for me? Am I such a failure emotionally and psychologically? I hope not but it appears so. Maybe living simply would be the best.
I'm determined to go get my bike license after ORD and also to work and save up for a bike. Makes me wonder.
Alright, I shan't keep this post going longer than it already has. Probably another post after I'm back from Christmas duties on Saturday, but then again, perhaps not because I'll definitely attend basketball in the morning, meaning cabbing with someone and also, Saturday is stayover night. Probably bring my mac down to Addi's place then. Heh. Alright, I'm outta here!
Lyrics!
Incubus - Dig.
We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify.
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.
We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try.
We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
Oh each other....
When everything
Else is gone.
got around to thinking @ 1:48 PM
Been a little hooked on this track. I know, it's Edge's theme song for WWE but that's not the point. I think Mark Tremonti is a really good music writer. Think I'm just a little hooked on Alter Bridge and Creed. Haha. Incubus too, of course.
I feel a little depressed now, seeing as to how I'm supposed to be in camp in two hours' time. Duty over Christmas sucks balls, then add on the fact that NYE is spent on duty too. I shall try lying to myself that Christmas and NYE are not on those particular days. Darn it, haha. Maybe something good will come out of it after everything. But I'm still quite skeptical, haha.
Ball yesterday was a good workout and fun, but it kind of lacked the challenge coz Big Ben wasn't around to play inside with me. So I played outside instead and I realized that I'm seriously having problems with shooting the ball consistently now. I should get back into the habit of consistency and not be complacent I suppose.
Ikea after ball was really good! Think I was on a sugar high or something, as Tricia said. Ate a lot at the cafe and shopped around the place with Tricia and Val. Headed down to church for caroling after that but I guess it further proves that I should perhaps take a period of time away from them. It serves me no purpose going down without the feeling of Christmas and putting on a fake mask of joy and smiles I guess. But then again, there are the few people who can make me smile and talk, just that sometimes, I still don't feel like talking too much.
Yesterday, Tricia said something. "Ironically, church is where you experience the worst politics." Somewhere along those lines. I replied something which I think I truly believe in. "It's because there's an expectation to be nice and friendly such that even if you dislike someone, you try to act nice and all to that person because it's somehow expected?" I don't know, it's a little hypocritical but I guess that's just human nature. I just feel a little too tired to think about stuff like that happening in church but I guess everybody's guilty of it, to some extent. Human nature. The ugly side of us that we try to disguise and lie to ourselves about perhaps. Ah well, no more psychological issues and psychobabble here.
Thanks for the talk on the bus Eugene. Appreciated it a lot and I hope you enjoy the festive season bro.
I have to say, I'm drifting away from church. Duty and all doesn't give me the flexibility and choice of attending weekday masses alone anymore and I guess that's one of the worst things because that was when I could really just spend some quiet time and reflect. It isn't easy anymore. Not with everything that has happened ever since enlisting last year. Time has passed so quickly, such that I'll be out in less than a year. I honestly cannot wait for that break and holiday with Matty, Darren, Addison and maybe one or two others. I am seriously in need of a break right now but it's just not possible. I can't even enjoy the holidays with my family, much less my close friends. I can only wait for this Saturday when we'll all be gathered for an overnight time. In short, I'm just really drained and tired out from a whole myriad of things. There's so much I want to do but I'm unable to. So much I've been unable to do over the past year and a half. I've fallen short on my goals, on what I should have done, should have been. Talking to Sherwin on Saturday over lunch reminded me that at least I still have my next three years of plans to accomplish to my ideals.
Another topic across yesterday's lunch was sleep. Val said something about the lack of sleep bringing about depression and mood swings. I guess perhaps that nails it. And also, lack of sleep affects us more than we'd know and expect it to. But it's hard to accomplish that goal with how Singapore's society is. Amidst the hustle and bustle, who has the time to waste on sleeping? Maybe I should change my thoughts on that. I'll try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each day from here on, whenever possible. Perhaps it'll lead me to be happier and get rid of the mood swings. I hope it does.
Sometimes, when you hit the lowest you've gone in a long time, you start to wonder, how could it possibly get any worse? I guess the point would be to remain optimistic, as hard as that might be. I really hate that I can tell people all these and get them to try to be happier than they are but I can't do the same to myself. Is it really such a problem for me? Am I such a failure emotionally and psychologically? I hope not but it appears so. Maybe living simply would be the best.
I'm determined to go get my bike license after ORD and also to work and save up for a bike. Makes me wonder.
Alright, I shan't keep this post going longer than it already has. Probably another post after I'm back from Christmas duties on Saturday, but then again, perhaps not because I'll definitely attend basketball in the morning, meaning cabbing with someone and also, Saturday is stayover night. Probably bring my mac down to Addi's place then. Heh. Alright, I'm outta here!
Lyrics!
Incubus - Dig.
We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify.
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.
We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try.
We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
Oh each other....
When everything
Else is gone.
got around to thinking @ 1:48 PM
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