Just how long before this goes down?
Bits & Pieces
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Trackspin: McFly - Five Colours In Her Hair.
Listening to this now for the sake of it. I'm honestly so tired of everything and I need a reprieve, hence the mindless fast song that is jumpy.
Just got home from a long chat with Cedric and Val at DS. Was really fun just sitting there and talking till late.. Makes me want to get my bike more, so I won't have to worry about cabbing home and all. Heh. More incentive!
I've been trying to be more patient in camp but sometimes, it just isn't helping. So much so that everybody seems to be against me at times, with the exception of maybe one or two people max. It honestly sucks when nobody appreciates what you're doing and it's worst when people blame you for what goes wrong, despite you trying to solve the situation on hand that was never really your concern anyway. I wish I could just beat them, but I believe I'm better than that. Until proven otherwise. By myself.
Today, I came face-to-face with the fact that sometimes, life screws you despite your plans. And that nothing ever goes according to plan, no matter how many fail-safes and backups you have. How did I do this today? I CAME FACE TO FACE WITH MY MPTS WING COMMANDER. ACROSS MY HOUSE. I mean, I know that he stays across me, but I've avoided all contact with him whatsoever the past year and more, but to complete my week of shit, I meet the man who put me in the hellhouse called 6SIR. Congratulations Sebby. But somehow, meeting him was a blessing too I guess. Makes me proud to say I've trained under him, ran with him and kept up to his standards. I honestly miss the days of training under him in MPTS and though he did make my life miserable as it is now, as responsible as he is, I don't hold him to fault, much actually. Let bygones be bygones I suppose. Just a pleasant surprise to see him and just have a short superficial talk with him while withdrawing money at the ATM. Only way I'll manage to train under him again would be to sign on, but I suppose that's not really in my plans for the time being. Not anymore at least.
Today also brought about a lot of thoughts. The future holds things unexpected, and somehow, despite me saying that sometimes, you just don't have to worry too much and just try to look ahead and let nature take it's course, I'm honestly scared to death of what the future holds. I guess I'm just afraid of the plausible answer, as much as I'm searching for the answer. I'm afraid of what I'll find waiting, I'm afraid of what I'm looking for, as silly as that sounds. Ah, well, complications never did make for a peaceful mind.
Okay, Nez says goodbye in a day or two. She has had her time and play, it's time she moved on into the hands of someone who can care for her better than I can I guess, someone who can make her sing more beautifully than I ever could. Time to think of a name for the incoming one though. Maybe rename the other too. Stupid as it sounds to name instruments, but it just makes me treasure them more somehow. Weird that it's with inanimate objects though. But hey, I'm joining the Ray family, with Bryandt and John. Heh, 3 'Ray players.
Alright, it's time to play around with Nez now before I go to bed, as tired as I am. It might be the last 24 hours. I guess I'm hoping it is. I just want to be rid of some memories and this should help with that somehow.
Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere?
got around to thinking @ 2:52 AM
Listening to this now for the sake of it. I'm honestly so tired of everything and I need a reprieve, hence the mindless fast song that is jumpy.
Just got home from a long chat with Cedric and Val at DS. Was really fun just sitting there and talking till late.. Makes me want to get my bike more, so I won't have to worry about cabbing home and all. Heh. More incentive!
I've been trying to be more patient in camp but sometimes, it just isn't helping. So much so that everybody seems to be against me at times, with the exception of maybe one or two people max. It honestly sucks when nobody appreciates what you're doing and it's worst when people blame you for what goes wrong, despite you trying to solve the situation on hand that was never really your concern anyway. I wish I could just beat them, but I believe I'm better than that. Until proven otherwise. By myself.
Today, I came face-to-face with the fact that sometimes, life screws you despite your plans. And that nothing ever goes according to plan, no matter how many fail-safes and backups you have. How did I do this today? I CAME FACE TO FACE WITH MY MPTS WING COMMANDER. ACROSS MY HOUSE. I mean, I know that he stays across me, but I've avoided all contact with him whatsoever the past year and more, but to complete my week of shit, I meet the man who put me in the hellhouse called 6SIR. Congratulations Sebby. But somehow, meeting him was a blessing too I guess. Makes me proud to say I've trained under him, ran with him and kept up to his standards. I honestly miss the days of training under him in MPTS and though he did make my life miserable as it is now, as responsible as he is, I don't hold him to fault, much actually. Let bygones be bygones I suppose. Just a pleasant surprise to see him and just have a short superficial talk with him while withdrawing money at the ATM. Only way I'll manage to train under him again would be to sign on, but I suppose that's not really in my plans for the time being. Not anymore at least.
Today also brought about a lot of thoughts. The future holds things unexpected, and somehow, despite me saying that sometimes, you just don't have to worry too much and just try to look ahead and let nature take it's course, I'm honestly scared to death of what the future holds. I guess I'm just afraid of the plausible answer, as much as I'm searching for the answer. I'm afraid of what I'll find waiting, I'm afraid of what I'm looking for, as silly as that sounds. Ah, well, complications never did make for a peaceful mind.
Okay, Nez says goodbye in a day or two. She has had her time and play, it's time she moved on into the hands of someone who can care for her better than I can I guess, someone who can make her sing more beautifully than I ever could. Time to think of a name for the incoming one though. Maybe rename the other too. Stupid as it sounds to name instruments, but it just makes me treasure them more somehow. Weird that it's with inanimate objects though. But hey, I'm joining the Ray family, with Bryandt and John. Heh, 3 'Ray players.
Alright, it's time to play around with Nez now before I go to bed, as tired as I am. It might be the last 24 hours. I guess I'm hoping it is. I just want to be rid of some memories and this should help with that somehow.
Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere?
got around to thinking @ 2:52 AM
Comments:
Post a Comment